Monday Morning Boost: The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The story we consistently tell ourselves, and the story we consistently listen to, will be the story that will most consistently come true in our life.
Our mind has a remarkable and beautiful ability to create that which we consistently feed it.
“The brain is the grand conductor of the symphony of our selves,” as neuropsychologist Jennifer Wolkin describes it. “The brain leads mind and body, and the brain heeds mind and body. The brain plays a role in every thought, feeling, and body sensation we experience. That includes every twitch, every blink, every strum of a guitar, and even every orgasm. That also includes every dream, passion, fear, joy, and deepest desire.”
“The brain is the grand conductor of the symphony of our selves.”
If we consistently fill our thoughts with a story of contempt, negativity, or hatred, we then have a high probability of manifesting those feelings in our life. Conversely, if we consistently fill our thoughts with a story of belief, happiness, hope, and love, we have a high probability of manifesting those feelings in our life.
Creating our story is a complex process of consistently nourishing our mind and soul day by day, moment by moment.
Controlling our self-talk is a good starting point.
Tony Robbins calls it “Watch Your TV,” meaning watch your “Transformational Vocabulary.”
“WATCH YOUR TV”
Tony teaches, “Our habitual emotional vocabulary shapes and controls much of our emotional experiences in life — how the labels we put upon our experience become our experience.”
Our self-talk language literally is like imprinting our brain with a huge label that literally starts defining who we think we are.
Label yourself smart, you’ll think you’re smart. Label yourself dumb, you’ll think you’re dumb.
Often when I do something I think is not very smart, I’ll often mumble under my breath, “Lester, you’re an idiot!”
Notice, I didn’t say dumb or stupid but I don’t believe idiot is any better. Or worse in this case.
Funny how that works.
To help us change the story we tell ourself, Tony offers four step ten-day challenge we can use to Watch our Transformational Vocabulary.
STEP 1 Check Yourself
Become conscious of the habitual words you use to describe your unhappy or distressing feelings. Begin to notice the labels you are putting on things.
If you say something like, “I’m so worried about this,” stop yourself and acknowledge that “worry” might be too strong a word. Maybe what you really are is “a little bit concerned.” Monitor your language and make sure your language isn’t exaggerating the intensity of emotions. Or better yet, consciously pick a word that would lower the negative intensity (instead of saying that you are “furious” with someone, describe yourself as being a little “irritated” or “disappointed with their reaction”).
STEP 2 Identify 3 Negative Words
Write down three words you currently use on a regular basis that intensify your negative feelings or emotions. Maybe you use words like “I’m frustrated,” “I’m depressed,” or “I’m humiliated.” Come up with alternative words that will lower the intensity of those negative emotions. Maybe instead of “depressed” you say you are “a little bit down.”
STEP 3 Find 3 Positive Words
Write down three words that you use to describe your experience that is somewhat positive. When someone says, “how’s it going?” come up with three alternative words that will amplify and intensify the positive feelings and inspire you. Instead of talking about how things are “all right,” replace those words with “incredible,” “outrageous,” and “spectacular.” What’s a positive word that if you really thought about your whole life, you could say and own congruently?
STEP 4 Pick 2 “Accountability” Buddies
Get leverage so you follow through. Pick two key people in your life — a close friend and ideally someone you respect that you would not want to disappoint. Pull them aside and explain to them your commitment to replace two or three key words in your vocabulary.
Most importantly, give them permission if they hear you using the old word to ask you if that’s really the word you want to use to explain how you feel.
WHAT STORY WILL YOU CREATE?
The transformational story we consistently tell ourselves will be the life we will create, the future we will have.
What story will you create???
What story will help you Gain the Red Edge?
Have a great Monday! Thanks for letting me share.
p.s. Take 13 minutes today to review Tony Robbins four steps for Watching your TV.
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