Monday Morning Boost: The Sticks & Stones of Hate

Monday Morning Boost: The Sticks & Stones of Hate

I have felt a lot of hate these past several weeks. We live in a time when screaming our hate and displeasure is the norm. While this is not the first time I have felt pain from the stick and stones of hate, this time has felt extra hard.

I know some of you have felt the same. I deeply feel and empathize with you.

While sorting through mixed emotions, I reached out on Facebook and asked how others handle hateful, hurtful, or demeaning behavior when directed at you. I was touched by the abundant response and empowering suggestions. I’ll share just a few of them. Click here to read all of them.

Aaron Kelson – Not as well as I would like. Such behavior only really hurts when it comes from people you know and ought to care for you. The sorrow I feel when this happens is profound. This scenario is, to me, one of the higher lessons in Christian discipleship. He knows all that can be known about betrayal. So, I turn to Him.
Ray Obiwan Weber – I ponder and then I pray for the person. This is not the way I would have responded 10 years ago.

Mark Spencer Reynolds – I agree with them (because they’re most likely stupid), and simply say something like, “but you should see what happens behind closed doors!” 😆

Paul Carlin Some people hold on the burning coals, and want to share that pain with you. You don’t have to open you hand and accept it.

Abraham EastmondBest book I EVER read is Codependent no more… I do my absolute best to no longer obsess over things I have no control over. How can you possibly control what others do or say?? You can’t. Don’t allow them in your life and get on with living.

Stephany Morrison I confront them. Usually provoking long drawn out debates where I try to get them to join the peace train. Sometimes it works. I’m not big on giving up on people and I’m completely intolerant of bullies. Being my family’s scapegoat has made me a defender of all, especially myself. I can’t be silenced but I am harder to gaslight these days. I don’t think I’ll ever learn to turn a cheek.

Michelle Bair Matthews – Cry like a baby and lick my wounds. Then claw my way out and back on top.

Desmon Don ButtsYou know sometimes I have learned it’s because I am on the right track. There will always be haters. And some people hate success or progress they do not understand! It’s interesting how we can let the ten percent derail our lives!

Sheli Latimer – Cut them out.

Barb Johnson Hanshaw I walked away. Prayed for them and than I let go. I turned it over to God and said. God you know their hearts better than I do. Thank you.

Heather Jo Kennedy – Ask Jesus. Sorry, my friend. You deserve all the kindness in the world!

Chad Hawkes – I quit umpiring because of this, people who I’ve known for years and considered friends became raving lunatics and totally offensive towards me over a game… think you know someone, then BAM!

Ashley RomneyI take the pieces that sting the most and ask the question, “what am I making this mean about me?” And then I go to Christ to hand those beliefs, stories, and perceptions over to Him. Then I pray for that person and say aloud “The divine nature in me sees the divine nature in you and I release you to your highest self. I forgive you.” Again & again up to 1,000 X’s if that’s what it takes.

Marilyn Mecham  I assume they meant someone else because I’m delightful!

Raulon Van Tassell I first give credit where it is due. Seek to remove the mote from my eye where it exists. But I also try to move as quickly as possible to the throne of grace, realizing that I am valuable to those that matter most to me and that the Lord is aware of me and how I’m trying to live for Him, not running faster than I have strength or so that my heart doesn’t fail me.
Penney Huntsman Knight – I think it’s hard when others hurt you. I guess I’ve hurt others too so the answer should be forgive them and move on. Heavenly Father won’t forgive our sins unless we forgive others as well.
Sarah Sylver Accept that I can’t change it and hold my boundaries.
Steven Amott – When I was young it bothered me but as I developed myself and came to know myself it mattered little. We can’t solve a problem at the same level that we were on when it was created. This suggests some personal growth and the more we grow, the less hurtful things bother us.


My good friend Ben Gochberg recently shared this thought from Ram Dass that has helped me continue to open my heart to feel more love and forgiveness for those dishing the hate.

“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”

I hope to be forever done with the sticks and stones of hate, to better see people like the trees they are, and to appreciate them for who they are as individuals. I want to see beyond the visible surface, to love their scars and broken pieces. And I want to love and honor deeply those who struggle to see beyond my scars and broken pieces.

By Les Patterson

The season is rampant
for spewing forth hate
deriding the good
destroying the great.

Throwing of sticks
and casting of stones
it’s easier to bully
than standing alone.

Alone as a beacon
though broken you may be
your lower lights anchored
shining hope for all to see.

while hate definitely hurts
sometimes even shames
honor your goodness
by not destroying names.

Love and forgiveness
with boundaries in place
walk the high road
honor your sacred space.


Have a great Monday! Thanks for letting me share.

I Love You!

Les Patterson

p.s. Take 13 minutes today to intentionally focus on creating “Your Finest Hour.”

Photo Credit: Joan Cabras, Pixabay



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